JJC-JOHNNY JUST COME
“Lagos will not court you. It is a city that is what it is.” began Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s article about Lagos. She has always talked about how she had deep love for Lagos as it was a second home to her. It made sense for me to hear her opinion while I was making my decision on coming to Lagos. Although the article was written in April 2019, I had only read it in December 2020. Few days earlier, I had seen a video of someone’s phone getting snatched in a bus in traffic(Ah! Yes traffic; the famous Lagos traffic). I usually see tweets on Twitter describing life in the city but that particular one scared me.
However, it was decided. I was going to Lagos. I was going to be staying with a cousin I didn’t know existed until the pandemic(and no he is not a distant cousin). I didn’t have a job nor did I have substantial savings but I was going. “I switched careers and I think coming to Lagos would allow me land internships and as well get solid hands-on experience.” was what I repeated to people who asked why I was going to Lagos. The truth? I needed space away from my family.
My cousin stays in Ajah Lekki; in the highbrow part of Lagos called The Island. It is really close to the Mobil housing estate and a pretty decent drive from Victoria Garden City. I had friends who stayed in a service apartment at Ikota, a few meters away from VGC so I would shuffle between my cousin’s place and theirs. I later joined a gym that was walking distance from my cousin’s place. I remember the first day on my way to the gym, I saw people with face masks really close to a bus stop and felt bad. I had forgotten mine at home and here were people who were trying hard to curb the spread of the virus. It wasn’t until the stench of faeces and dirt hit me before I knew why. I wondered why people would choose to defecate on the pavement close to a bus stop; in Abuja, you would find faeces in gutters but not the pavement. In my discussions with friends, I would often liken the environment to a woman using makeup to hide the wounds gotten from an abusive husband and common rebuttals would be that I wasn’t staying in the more expensive centers of the island. But why do people have to pay more to get basic stuff?
Lagos is a city of rush. I could tell whenever my cousin had to go to work. He didn’t go everyday but the days he went, you could tell he was trying to beat traffic. I was curious as to how bad traffic could be — not that I hadn’t seen pictures on Twitter or heard stories to satisfy my curiosity, but I wanted to witness it first hand. It is a completely different thing when you are told of the experience of being in a roller coaster or the high you get when you are kart racing and when you experience them for yourself. I would soon get my wish. Rumor had it that fuel price was going to go up as high as 212 naira per litre(I am calling it rumor because the government denied it. I don’t believe them sha. If there were no push backs that would have become a reality) and Lagosians decided to get fuel when it was still relatively cheap before it became law. I decided to go see my friends at Ikota, we were supposed to hang out later in the evening but I wanted to play video games with them and just go from their place. I checked my bolt and uber app, prices were ridiculous. This was supposed to be 500 naira in Abuja and I was seeing 1500–2900 naira as prices. I didn’t know the place and I was afraid of becoming a victim of Lagos brutality so I went ahead with the prices. I spent 4 hours on the road. I decided to walk back home from my friend’s place to compare and I spent 38 minutes on the road.
One thing I did find interesting was three of the four restaurants I visited(as at the time this is being written. I plan to visit more) were owned by Lebanese foreigners — I know their nationality from Chimamanda’s article — ; one of them was ridiculously expensive(good thing I wasn’t paying). The other restaurant I went to that wasn’t owned by a foreigner was owned by an influencer on Instagram. It was there I had Fisherman soup for the first time; I recommend you try it too.
It would be unfair if I don’t talk about how kind Lagosians have been to me generally. I didn’t want to include it in the article because I am afraid that after talking about this I would jinx it. But the people of Lagos are generally really kind. With all I have heard, I thought if I should ask for directions on the road people would figure out that I was a JJC- Johnny Just Come (someone who was new to a place) thus becoming easy prey for kidnappers, robbers and whatever danger that lurks in the city. I once entered an Uber on my way to see a friend. Halfway through the journey, I got a text from the driver-”Are you still coming?”. I was in the wrong cab.
Had I been kidnapped? What should I do?
How can I subdue the driver and escape unharmed?
I told him slowly, hoping that he wasn’t a kidnapper. I still can’t believe what happened after that. He waited till I requested another ride and told me to wait in the car until the driver came. I was stunned. Currently, I am on the mainland. I got a job(which wasn’t even in my plan because I applied for this job as a joke lmao) so I had to move to stay with my god mother’s younger brother in Festac. I want to know why there is a large number of Igbo people in Festac? I am digressing. I went to the cinemas with some friends and on my way back to Festac, I took the wrong bus. I was supposed to take a bus to Ikeja along (please this is how it is called) and then take a bus to Second Rainbow bus stop which is basically Festac(I may be wrong but whenever I get there, I automatically think I am in Festac). My friend instead told me to take a bus to Berger. When I got to Berger, I asked the bus driver where I would see a bus to Festac or Oshodi.
“No now, you for no enter to Berger. This people go charge you too much. Don’t worry, I go show you where you go see Festac.”
He turned his vehicle and started driving towards Ikeja, picking passengers along the way whilst we both told jokes and he told me about how the Police usually treated motorists unfairly. We got to Ikeja and he even parked his bus like he was my elder brother or cousin and pointed where I should follow. He also didn’t collect money from me. On my way to the island one day, I asked an elderly man for directions and he walked me to the place I was going to take the bus. I have had multiple experiences like this. It makes me wonder if this is the same for everybody or if I am in some way lucky.
I am yet to fall in love with Lagos; everyone keeps saying that I will and I wonder if I ever will. I am told that I would find my kin and I have a space where I would fit in perfectly. I don’t know how soon that would be. My social circle is pretty much the same. All the people I know in Lagos are either family or friends from my university- oh and people from work as well. About work, I should probably talk about how I got a job or maybe how I did a virtual interview and I applied what I learnt from a thread on Twitter that said to throw back the ‘How much are you expecting for this role’ question at the employers with ‘How much is available?’ It didn’t go the way you are thinking, trust me. I could maybe do this when I spend one year in Lagos.
